Red menace
Randy Canman
Thinks every plan is good if you shout it first. Professional overreactor. Pocket inventory: one can, zero foresight.
Five paint-huffing icons. Five terrible life choices.
Blue blur
Blob Ross
Paints outside the lines, the wall, and occasionally reality. Smiles through every bad decision like it was performance art.
Yellow alarm bell
Sir Panics-a-Lot
Terrified of consequences, deeply committed to causing them. Runs on adrenaline, luck, and one untied shoelace.
Green gremlin
Gloop Dogg
The silent mastermind if masterminds were sticky and confusing. Looks calm. Definitely not calm.
Purple scream machine
Yellvis
Wakes up at volume eleven and somehow gets louder. Brings drama, panic, and suspiciously good timing.